It is with a heavy heart, I have to admit that I may have bitten off more than I can chew with Cercei.
For those of you that don’t know the exact circumstances, Cercei was found with a litter of 12 others. A farmer had shot the mother, and out of desperation the pups had started to eat the mother.
Cercei, is a lovely pup, if a little nervous, and I’m beginning to think that her experiences with humans hasn’t been good. She’s a typical puppy, but discipline is a one way street. She responds to praise, but you can’t reinforce it with discipline for doing something wrong. Peeing in the house for example.
At 13 weeks old, most pups have mastered house training and basic commands, but as I got her at 12 weeks, I’m dealing with a very large new born mentally, and it’s quite taxing on me, my partner and the dog. I’m sticking to my guns though, however, I honestly believe that I’ve missed out on the usual time frame of traditional training.
If anything, I’m beginning to feel a bit of a failure. My heart was in the right place, and always will be, because Cercei has stolen mine. But I feel that I could be doing better. I understand taking baby steps, and that abuse takes a lot of undoing, but I feel by now we should be making more progress. More progress simply because I want the best for her, and I want to be able to take her out for long walks, let her off the lead, not worry that she’s going to tear the house apart if we leave her alone for a couple of hours.
She’s exceptionally content here (wouldn’t you be getting freshly cooked meals every day?), and her confidence is growing, but I simply can’t get her to work with me. It’s almost like she doesn’t want to be obedient (Spanish Mastine’s suffer from ‘Selective Hearing’).
I wish I could just see into her head, and know what’s happened, because then I would know what I have to do to undo it and get back to a blank canvas.
Her appetite is certainly healthy! With a constant stream of ‘luxury’ dog food, all hand made by me, she has put weight on, her eyes are brighter and her coat is glossier and thicker. However, can I truly look after her in the way she needs?
I’m willing to give up the Holidays 3, 4 or 5 times a year, I’m happy to pinch a penny to ensure she’s fed, insured and looked after. I’m even willing to do without myself. But if I can’t get her to work with us, I don’t see any way I can make the entire situation work.
I actually fear, that, as much as I don’t want to, because I do love her, that I may have to let her go unless vast improvements are made. It’s unfair on her if I can’t offer her what she needs.